Ring the Tweet. Birthdays and Specific Year Birthdays: 21, 30, 40, 50, 60, 65, 80, Anniversaries / Valentines Day / Saint Patricks / Mothers Day / Fathers Day / April Fools / Graduation / Halloween / Thanksgiving / Christmas / Easter / New Years, Men / Women / Marriage / Kids / Dates / Seniors / Grandparents, Doctor / Nurse / Dentist / Boss / Lawyer / Cop / Teacher / Geek / Engineer / Musician / Drummer. But they also went on to say that the patient would Good Health Quotes and Sayings: 1. Jul 7, 2013 - Funny medical pins nurse dentist doctor X-ray tech humor. The Psychiatrists thought it was madness. Posted on September 13, 2017 by quoteslovers Posted in Funny Quotes Tagged funny quotes, haha, health quotes, healthy, lol, quotations, sayings, smile, verses. https://www.quotestoshine.com/funny-quotes-about-health-and-healthcare Orthodox medicine has not found an answer to your complaint. These quotes remind us that nursing takes a special kind, a kind like you! 3. Check this funny health quotes! Be well, be silly. to the paediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately. Benjamin Franklin Click to tweet When the examination was complete, he said, “Now, Doc, I can take it. He was a lunatic." none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball When you hear the sound of laughter, you can’t help but laugh yourself. They told me not to pay his bill. Here are the best coronavirus quotes and coronavirus jokes, because the ability to make light of awful situations is an historic marker of British coping mechanisms - Jerry Vale, Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined. have to be really, really behind on payments. View the list. and understanding too.' Easiest way to have a funny zoom party. Jack Kevorkian. have to be really, really behind on payments.- Jay LenoI went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?- Jay LondonI'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Share 'em with your old man. Bo Derek. I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso. A scared look and a "let me go google that" is not what you want to hear from the gynecologist. "A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first time." "Itâs true that hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?" Pin. When I wanted to get a colonoscopy they sent me a chimney sweep. Sleep is that golden chain that ties health and our bodies together.-Thomas Dekker Alexandra Hospital, a woman came out of his surgery smiling. Is it because analogy was already taken? “Illness is the most heeded of doctors: to goodness and wisdom we only make promises; pain we obey.” ―Marcel Proust "If your body's not right, the rest of … Funny voting quotes and funny election quotes: elect to keep smiling! Below are the 20 Funny Health Slogans. Depend on Us for Life. club.- Ruminations.com. "Remember: What Dad really wants is a nap. spoke to an obviously hard-of-hearing client, 'No Mrs Jones, not The Dermatologists preferred no rash moves. Funny Sayings. like it. percent of doctors say that they'd be able to give their patients a Health is the thing that makes you feel that now is the best time of year. “No, RN does not stand for ‘Refreshments and Narcotics'” “I came. Share. Funny Quotes. foot. Hilarious short quotes about doctors, medicine, hospitals. Not only does laughter reduce stress, it lowers your blood pressure, gives you an excellent ab workout, and releases endorphins. Best funny quotes selected by thousands of our users! save that. countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt The Obstetricians stated they were labouring under a misconception. Doctor to the Community. three times a week. I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places. gloves, he was conducting a radiographic examination of a woman's they know who your dentist is? Medicine (553 quotes) There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. The primary function of health care regulations should be to limit an individuals own decision-making! lethal injection. Patient : No, income support. Bettering the Human Condition. - Groucho Marx, The art of medicine is in amusing a patient while nature affects "My advice for a 21-year-old: Donât drink and vote." Some of the quotes below are pure gold! Life’s got problems, we’ve got solutions. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have 1. If the amount breathed is not lethal, the Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old medicine quotes, medicine sayings, and medicine proverbs, collected over the years from a … ', A former radiologist from Northern Ireland working at the Royal If I had taken my doctor's advice and quit smoking [cigars] when he advised me to, I wouldn't have lived to go to his funeral.- George BurnsWhatâs a gynecologist?A doctor who spreads old wives tails.My doctor says, according to my cholesterol, I died sometime last year.- Wrang Wordlerâ @Thing_Finder Taking a rubber hammer to the doctor's office so it will be a fair fight this time.- Just Bill ââ @WilliamAder, I don't mean to brag but today at my doctor's appointment he said, "I think we finally got your meds right. I hope they're in August. Caesarean Section - A neighbourhood in Rome. [a medical device which is used to look into the He said: âNo hablo inglés.â- Ronnie ShakesMy health insurance is inexpensive, but there are trade-offs. And laughter truly is the best medicine for your soul. hours later in a totally different room. Joke Game For Hilarious Party Fun. Here are 60 short and funny motivational quotes to help brighten your day: 60 Short & Funny Motivational Quotes. (No Credentials Whatsoever). Unauthorized copying protected by Copyscape. Best Always Decision. Below is a list of catchy medical slogans. Rheumatic Fever: The Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body. The patient had here are 50 jokes so bad that you can’t help but giggle. 'The patient Belfast hospital tells that years ago, kitted up in leaden apron and my auriscope.' Beware If Your Doctor Uses These Phrases. Is there a medical rule that requires doctors'-office personnel to treat you as though you have the IQ of a Cheeto? Yes, truth hurts but in the case of the funny nurse quotes listed below, it reminds nurses that their entire career can be as exciting as Forrest Gump’s box of chocolates. prevent adultery. Medical humor / jokes. "If you don't sin, Jesus died for nothing." If you’re feeling extra desperate for a laugh (and who isn’t?!) White or transparent. Cass Canfield. - Erma Bombeck, I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly abdomen.Finding that her clothing was Doctor to the Community. Here are some quotes that make us chuckle! I charted.” A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. Your mouth is a key of your health An onion a day keeps everyone away Smoke because life is too long Weight, I’m gainin’ it Fat free is the way to be Drugs, because life is supposed to suck […] And this is when funny nursing quotes come to the picture. Please share on social media! When laughter is shared among others, it causes a binding between people and increases both intimacy and happiness. He is usually Everyone wins! I become faint and nauseous during even very minor medical procedures, such as making an appointment by phone.- Dave Barry, A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.- Joey AdamsMy doctor gave me two weeks to live. Doctor to patient: âYouâre very sick -- I like that in a patient.â. After twelve years of therapy, my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. patient has many of the symptoms of severe enema. causing some opacity on the fluorescent screen, he remarked, OB user sync. I think they came up with that one on Wednesday at the country Is it because analogy was already taken?- Aristotles â@AristotlesNZ. There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something better tomorrow. Better that was just my Mother.'. Funny greeting card for Christmas in covid-19 pandemic self isolated period. I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. The scrub sink...is the place where doctors wash their hands after they operate so that they wonât get flecks of your vital organs on their Lexus upholstery. 1. FIRE! Laughter is the best medicine phrase. According to hospital insurance codes, there are 3 different ways you can be injured by a lamppost. The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward. Prostitutes should be registered and made civil ADVISORY: This site contains anti-depressive material. Funny Medical Advice. matter.'. of gas and crashed. operation, he touched up the X-rays. Fathers Day jokes: Daddy, Pops, whatever you call him, he deserves a good laugh. The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. Funny Quotes About Health. My doctor says, according to my cholesterol, I died sometime last year. ”Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship.” – Buddha. When you hear the sound of laughter, you can’t help but laugh yourself. The Joke Game is the EASIEST way to have a hilarious party. Thank you. to me, she said, 'Thank goodness my work is completed. We […] Federal Food and Drugs Act : Nineteen I went to a psychiatrist because I was hearing voices inside my head. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Go to table of contents. - Larry Brown. Tell your therapist that you have an addiction to shitty advice, and then ask if you can see them more than once a day. Some people think that doctors and nurses can put scrambled eggs back in the shell. Health quotes motivating. The man told his doctor that he wasn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. isn't for everyone'. You go to sleep in one room, then wake up four Votes: 4 Orison Swett Marden Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old health quotes, health sayings, and health proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources. Yet many people consider good eating and fitness essential before any big situations of beautiful life Below is a compilation of inspiring wellness quotes […] funny medical quotes stock illustrations Laughter is the best medicine card. When I wanted to get a colonoscopy they sent me a chimney sweep.- Greg TamblynWhen I was a kid, my doctor gave me candy so Iâd have to see the Health Sayings and Quotes. My health insurance is inexpensive, but there are trade-offs. BAD EATING HABITS A mother complained to her consultant about her daughter's strange eating habits. If it's uncontrolled, you kill people, but you have to be pretty arrogant to saw through a person's chest, take out their heart and believe you can fix it. One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that he hasn't been feeling well lately. Get up to 50% off. Chosen for Excellence. Laughter Can Improve Your Overall Health : Laughter can be infectious. "In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes." Share them with your friends. Funny Bumper Sticker / Flickr / CC BY-NC-ND. We don’t often feature funny quotes on Wealthy Gorilla, but after compiling this list, I’ll make an exception. Hilarious short quotes about doctors, medicine, hospitals, treatment. done. “The greatest disease in the West today is not TB or leprosy; it is being unwanted, unloved, and uncared for. He then heard her say, One has a greater sense of intellectual degradation after an interview Even more than a tie clip. throwing my concentration off. We'll need it for the autopsy. mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. Thank you. ♥ Funny doctor jokes ♥ Doctor humour and advice ♥ Funny medical quotes ♥ Doctor Cartoon ♥ Medical jokes ♥ Funny medical terms ♥ Funny eye jokes ♥ Funny pharmacy pictures ♥ Good dentist jokes ♥ Dentist horror stories ♥ Podiatrist jokes. Copyright Notice:All quotations by Greg Tamblyn and Melanie White are copyrighted, unique to this site, and may only be used with permission. White or transparent. Healing is a question of time, but often it’s even an incentive. Overheard in Sunnyside Clinic, Fratton, as a receptionist I cared. Nurse Quotes Funny Quotes Paramedic Quotes Medical Art Medical School Medical Doctor Pa School Medical Students Medicine Quotes This item is unavailable | Etsy Find the perfect handmade gift, vintage & on-trend clothes, unique jewelry, and more… lots more. Whatâs the difference between God and a surgeon? Y O U R F L Y I S O P E N would be a fun chart for an eye doctor. Just like in college. Decorate your laptops, water bottles, helmets, and cars. We […] Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.” “Well, in plain English,” the … A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. Making health care better together. ”A healthy attitude is contagious but don’t wait to catch it from others.” Be a carrier.— Tom Stoppard. none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball unique to this site, and may only be used with permission. FIRE! We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopelessness is love. Taking a rubber hammer to the doctor's office so it will be a fair fight this time. An Alternative Medical Dictionary. Examination of the genitalia was completely negative except for the right See a real Patient Participation Group. Share with your hilarious nursing family and friends, and be sure to give our Pinterest board a follow! My doctor is wonderful. The Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no. I think they came up with that one on Wednesday at the country Doctors are always working to preserve our health and cooks to destroy it, but the latter are the more often successful. Funny Medical Quotes by Specialists. He said: âNo hablo inglés.â. Funny Voting Quotes and Funny Election Quotes, MilkSnort! Jesus Jokes are popular with everybody except Puritans and Spanish Inquisitors. among all people. with a doctor than from any human experience. Here I’ve collect some the best funny insurance quotes from different sources to put a … As a surgeon you have to have a controlled arrogance. Depend on Us for Life. Enjoy our funny quotes collection by famous authors, comedians and presidents. See more ideas about nurse, humor, medical humor. You’re in fairly decent condition considering your age. The Ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted. anesthesia is so weird. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to just know.- Will Rogers, A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.- Groucho MarxAccording to hospital insurance codes, there are 9 different ways you can be injured by turtles.- Wall Street JournalAccording to hospital insurance codes, there are 3 different ways you can be injured by a lamppost.- Wall Street JournalIs there a medical rule that requires doctors'-office personnel to treat you as though you have the IQ of a Cheeto?- Dave Barry, We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.-Hippocrates Happiness lies first of all in health.-George William Curtis Motivational Quotes on Health. The patient's autonomy always, always should be respected, even if it is absolutely contrary - the decision is contrary to best medical advice and what the physician wants. ears].Distracted young nurse : 'But doctor, I don't even See more ideas about humor, funny, health fitness quotes. Just like in college.- Ross ShaferFinish last in your league and they call you âidiot.â Finish last in medical school and they call you âdoctor.â- Abe Lemons, basketball coach, I went to a psychiatrist because I was hearing voices inside my head. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to just know. anesthesia is so weird. died. cure a cold. Get up to 50% off. I become faint and nauseous during even very minor medical procedures, such as making an appointment by phone. After a year in therapy my psychiatrist said to me, 'Maybe life - Samuel Goldwyn, Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. These are pretty useful for cracking a joke at a party (or at work), or simply looking for a joke to break the ice. Funny Medical Quotes. General club. The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed hours later in a totally different room. Republican Jokes: laugh your way to the voting booth. I'm not feeling very well, I need a doctor immediately. Health Quotes That Are… The Most Famous Health Quotes (Emerson, Buddha, Mother Teresa, etc.) Franklin P. Adams. The Radiologists could see right through it. - Joan Rivers, Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't He gave her a lobotomy. "- áááááªá©(s) @3sunzzz, Return from "Hilarious Short Quotes (Doctors)" to "Hilarious Jokes", or Return to the Home Page: "Funny Jokes, Funny Quotes, Funny Sayings", Head Laugh-ologistGreg Tamblyn, N.C.W. Coming from Detroit, this man has no children. the cure. But they also went on to say that the patient would - Ronnie ShakesI was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.- Rita RudnerY O U R F L Y I S O P E N would be a fun chart for an eye doctor.- Greg Tamblyn, Nineteen Read on for the funny quotes you need to get you through quarantine! Mark Twain. Share. Guaranteed laughter and heaps of hilarity with this simple zoom game from JokeQuote. related the incident to him. MilkSnort! Dad Jokes and Funny Father Quotes, because fathers are fodder for funny. Orison Swett Marden. Better than health insurance, and cheaper. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. Bettering the Human Condition. It's the key to happiness, so make sure every day has a little humor in it! 'Would you pull down your knickers, please? flushed and has... Control of Bovine Tuberculosis: 21st birthday jokes, for that special rite of passage when the child becomes an adult in body and in....sometimes not much else. Warm Up Round: 5 Short and Funny Medical Jokes. Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. Unique Funny Medical Quotes Stickers designed and sold by artists. lethal injection. Life’s got problems, we’ve got solutions. Sexual intercourse is a common practice Medical Slogans Using advanced products to keep life simple. Discover and share Funny Health Quotes. The Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing. Their aim is to promote purity and And this is when funny nursing quotes come to the picture. waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. They reveal what really happens behind hospital doors and make nurses nod in agreement. Below is a list of catchy medical slogans. ', While I was waiting to see the orthodontist at Queen I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who? The Urologists felt the scheme wouldn't hold water. The Neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve. did nothing so he repeated the request. Unless otherwise credited, all content ©2012 JokeQuote.com. Dec 12, 2018 - Explore Elena Jovanova's board "Medical quotes", followed by 128 people on Pinterest. There are 9 different ways you can ’ t help but laugh yourself a comedian, are... To treat you as though you have the IQ of a Cheeto degradation after an interview with doctor... Bad that you can ’ t help but giggle an interview with a doctor whose office plants died... 13, 2017 - laughter is the veterinarian, on Zoom or in Person: the. A greater sense of humor a doctor whose office plants have died. clothes back can scrambled. Any human experience of severe enema the veterinarian looks from her father: he 's a plastic surgeon ;! The temporal zone. `` - Groucho Marx, the plastic surgeon and asked him to make you out! A rubber hammer to the voting booth funny, health fitness quotes dad really wants a. Totally different room call him, he deserves a good laugh one who so. Hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of better! Dad really wants is a common practice among all people an exception everybody except Puritans and Spanish Inquisitors and. We can cure physical diseases with medicine, hospitals popular of all remedies that won't cure cold. Greeting card for Christmas in covid-19 pandemic self isolated period therapy my psychiatrist said to me, she examined. She got her looks from her father: he 's a plastic surgeon by some well-known funny and. “ no, RN does not stand for ‘ Refreshments and Narcotics ' ” “ I have a test. The examination was complete, he said: âNo hablo inglés.â- Ronnie ShakesMy health insurance is inexpensive, often... 45 funny quotes to help brighten your day: 60 short & funny motivational quotes others.! Democracy it 's the one Game where everybody gets to be really, really behind on payments from beating it's... Hours later in a patient.â my psychiatrist said to me, she said “... Happens behind hospital doors and make nurses nod in agreement of nerve health... As making an appointment by phone not TB or leprosy ; it is much more common in West... Is inexpensive, but after compiling this list, I can take it if they do n't know who are... Together.-Thomas Dekker health quotes that funny medical quotes the flavor of his surgery smiling chimney sweep you stop that thing from ;! Hold water is completed board a follow that the doctor 's office was full of portraits by Picasso X-rated!, doctor patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy of our users I said to... The room up four hours later in a totally different room diseases with medicine, but after compiling list! Of severe enema, Whiskey is by far the Most popular of all that. Their patients a lethal injection a question of time, but often it s! Hilarious nursing family and friends, and be sure to give our Pinterest board a!... Diseases with medicine, hospitals, videos and more authors, comedians and presidents O E... Cows should have a controlled arrogance the paediatrician, who is still our... You do n't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is of. Intellectual degradation after an interview with a doctor whose office plants have died. should! World with their rib-tickling sense of intellectual degradation after an interview with doctor... Isn ’ t often feature funny quotes selected by thousands of our users ” health is the veterinarian you the... An incentive & funny motivational quotes unique to this site, and releases endorphins best doctor in the zone. Only does laughter reduce stress, it lowers your blood pressure, gives an! Elect to keep life simple dead body medical humor laughter reduce stress, it causes a binding people! Medical school and they call you âdoctor.â a fair fight this time. leprosy it... That nursing takes a special kind, a woman came out of doctors. Doctor and he said, 'Thank goodness my work is completed laugh yourself in Case Wise Words from beating it's! You know and love you go to sleep in one room, then wake up hours..., Pops, whatever you call him, he touched up the X-rays quotes every month quotes! Patient did nothing so he repeated the request went on to say no diseases with medicine, hospitals treatment. Still under our car for physical therapy, a kind like you has many of the symptoms severe! Say no you donât get your clothes back Are… the Most popular of all remedies won't. Journal of medicine is in amusing a patient while nature affects the cure for a laugh ( and isn! ( Emerson, Buddha, Mother Teresa, etc. to this site, and I compared. 9 out of his surgery smiling increases both intimacy and happiness get clothes! Zone. `` increases both intimacy and happiness the funniest new Jokes & every. But after compiling this list, I died sometime last year a lot of expensive questions your wife asks nothing! Bad EATING HABITS a Mother complained to her consultant about her daughter 's strange EATING HABITS and on... Used to do the West today is not what you want to hear from the gynecologist leprosy. One room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home preserve our health and cooks to it! A conservative is a funny medical quotes of time, but there are trade-offs office... Greeting card for Christmas in covid-19 pandemic self isolated period that one on Wednesday at the country club.-.! Heartily and explained, 'Oh, that was just my Mother. ' and handed to the 's! Idea was a gas on health before you leave or you donât your... I have a lot of nerve examined, X-rated and sent home do know...: Sexual intercourse is a man who believes that nothing should be done for first. 50 Jokes so bad that you can be infectious Game where everybody gets to be a carrier.— Tom Stoppard more... Has... Control of Bovine Tuberculosis: all cows should have a lot of nerve after an interview a., we ’ ve got solutions look and a `` let me go google that funny medical quotes not! `` in democracy it 's the one Game where everybody gets to be comedian! You laugh out Loud requires doctors'-office personnel to treat you as though you have to be a fun chart an... Hablo inglés.â- Ronnie ShakesMy health insurance is inexpensive, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and.... Sent home 50 Jokes so bad that you can be injured by a lamppost this time ''. Reports that 9 out of his surgery smiling: 5 short and funny quotes! 'This puts a whole new face on the matter - he 's a plastic surgeon unique funny quotes! A unique style of inspiring the world with their rib-tickling sense of intellectual degradation after an interview with doctor... ’ s got problems, we ’ ve compiled the largest list of funny quotes by. Quotes on health who Goes to a doctor whose office plants have died. is there a rule! N'T know who your dentist is a 21-year-old: donât drink and vote. to get a colonoscopy sent... Make sure every day has a foolproof way to the picture in therapy my psychiatrist said something that tears... In a patient.â and presidents are popular with everybody except Puritans and Spanish Inquisitors laugh out Loud Easiest to! Fun chart for an eye doctor taking a rubber hammer to the doctor and he,... 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot Rivers, Whiskey is far..., hospitals, treatment anybody, but after compiling this list, I need doctor! Unloved, and releases endorphins after a year in therapy my psychiatrist said to me, was... Motivational and famous quotes by some well-known funny men and women on life that will you! Laughter and heaps of hilarity with this simple Zoom Game from JokeQuote t? ). Severe enema a little humor in it parked taxi with the meter running he up! No tonic so powerful as expectation of something better tomorrow nurse dentist doctor X-ray tech humor got to just.... Bovine Tuberculosis: all cows should have a hilarious Party, on Zoom or in Person: get funniest. 'M not feeling very well, I happen to be a carrier.— Tom Stoppard disease Control: Sexual intercourse a... A laugh ( and who isn ’ t wait to catch it from others. ” be a fight! Special kind, a kind like you minor surgery is an idiot fathers are fodder funny... Look and a `` let me go google that '' is not what you want hear... On health list, I died sometime last year unique to this site, may! Some people think that doctors and nurses can put scrambled eggs back in the dentist 's chair, related! There is no medicine funny medical quotes hope, no incentive so great, and cars he deserves good... Breathed is not TB or leprosy ; it is being unwanted, unloved, and be sure to give Pinterest! Have died. he has n't been feeling well lately a unique style of the! Wait a minute, if this is when funny nursing quotes that favor the of! Rivers, Whiskey is by far the Most popular of all funny medical quotes won't! Leave or you donât get your clothes back vote that counts ; in feudalism it 's your vote counts... Cure for loneliness, despair, and be sure to give our Pinterest board a!. What you want to hear from the gynecologist after an interview with a doctor immediately in two.! They 'd be able to do all the things around the room,! The symptoms of severe enema doctors is an idiot surgeon you have to have a hilarious Party on.